| No More Fights Over Money A recent survey reported that money � how to save it and how to spend it � is
the leading cause of conflict between partners.� What can you do when one
of your loved ones loves to spend, spend, spend, while the other saves every
penny?� Can a financial "odd couple" get along without driving each other
crazy?
The answer is yes � if they follow a few simple guidelines, explains Linda
Barbanel, MS, CSW, author of Sex, Money and Power.
"Even if your money styles vary wildly, there's hope," Barbenel
says.� "By trying to understand each other's behavior and opinions about money, rather
than being judgmental, you'll create financial harmony." Here are Barbanel's
strategies:
Know your own style.� You may not realize it but you probably inherited
more from your parents than your big blue eyes � most of us inherit money
styles, too.� But what worked for mom and dad 20 years ago won't
necessarily be successful for your and your current lifestyle.� For
instance, they may have chosen long-term investments, while you prefer the
flexibility of a short-term CD.
Decide what excites each of you (going on vacation, a bigger home),
and what worries you (credit card debt, not having enough money
for retirement).� "Bring your hopes��- and fears�- out into the open.� Just talking
about them can help you understand each other's attitudes about money."
Strive to find middle ground and look for alternatives that work for both of
you.� "Remember," says the authors, "the spender needs latitude, so set
aside cash for extras, and do the same for the saver so he or she can feel good
about saving for a rainy day."
Agree to disagree when squabbles erupt about how money has been spent.�
Barbanel counsels couples to do these things: have check statements and bills
handy so you can both follow the money trail and see where adjustments need to
be made; avoid words like 'always' and 'never' that fan the flames; and if
tempers flare, take a time-out.
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